Or nine. Some girls just deserve extra chances. After six weeks we had all acquired steady girlfriends. Not that we were looking for love, but it beat the shit out of nightly quim-hunting and muff-trapping in the local bars. And it was infinitely better than buffing the banana every night. Paul, of course, got the beauty queen. She was statuesque – just half an inch shorter than Paul, - black as midnight and had a smile that rivaled a supernova. Lucy worked as a financial advisor in her uncle’s firm downtown. She was so much smarter than any of us that we were afraid to make a pass. Not that Paul would beat the crap out of any of us (we hoped), it’s just that we were intimidated. I once asked her how her day was going; “Felicitously and riant,” she replied. I told her I was sorry but I had an urgent need to consult a dictionary. Veronica was dating Josh. She was a little shorter than Josh, had short hair to match his, and worked in an adult bookstore. Wow! She worked with porn! Josh. He was just like any other guy. He wasn’t limp wristed, and he didn’t talk effeminately. If you didn’t know, you’d never know. Go figure. I’d never been around gay men before, so I guess I always believed the stereotypes you see at the movies. One night, as we sat talking after rehearsals, he was telling me about a customer he’d had that was really a jerk. After a disagreement over the price of an installation, Keith had decided he didn’t want the job, and the guy had blasted him, calling him an “arrogant, little, butt fucking fag”. Keith was kind of laughing when he told the story. He couldn’t believe the guy got so unreasonably angry over such a minor disagreement. I couldn’t believe that Keith was taking it so well. “Who the fuck cares why he was unreasonably angry? If he’d talked to me that way, I’d have to kick his ass. Doesn’t it piss you off?” “Randy,” Keith said, “if I fought everybody that was homophobic, I’d have to fight every straight male in the world.” “That’s not true!.
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